John S. Tamerin, M.D.
Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry
Weill Cornell School of Medicine
Board of Scholars, Vail Leadership Institute
When we think deeply about the concept of commitment, we are soon aware that commitment requires perseverance, tenacity and conviction. When we then make a commitment, we discover that commitment is not easy, that setbacks are inevitable, and that accountability is essential. Commitment is heavy. Commitment is not discovered in our words-it is observed in our actions.
Having said that, what does it mean to make a commitment to happiness? Isn’t that ridiculous? It seems rather like a devoted skier saying “I will make a commitment to ski fresh powder.”
But stop for a moment….
The commitment to happiness is not an issue when we are faced with the “fresh powder” in our lives. The challenge for all of us is honoring the commitment to remain happy when we have broken a leg or the lifts are closed. The commitment to happiness starts to have meaning when things do not go well for us.
When we are faced with bad news, unpleasant surprises, ill-health, job loss, broken relationships or simply a broken promise, can we still maintain that commitment to happiness? How about when we are fired, receive an unexpected audit from the IRS or your spouse leaves you for someone else? Are you getting the point? Now this gets challenging. Now your “commitment” to happiness is being tested.
How do you commit to happiness under these circumstances? How do you stay centered, calm and focused – all of which are central ingredients of happiness? How do you avoid worrying, obsessing, and getting angry, all of which can ultimately lead to clinical depression? As a psychiatrist I have a few ideas. I hope that you or perhaps someone you love will find what I have to say helpful for the Holidays and in the New Year.
Happiness is not something that you can suddenly put on like a smiley face when bad things happen. It is something which must become part of you so that when challenges in your life occur, you are prepared. It all starts with making a commitment.
I hope that I am not being disrespectful to the Old Testament when I organize my suggestions as the “Ten Commitments.”
Stay tuned as we post John S. Tamerin, M.D. “Ten Commitments.”